I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize