well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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