Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
