So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize