Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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