can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
