he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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