I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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