so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
