I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sober January is a disaster.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Found the puke drawer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
