Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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