yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
