I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
