We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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