she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
