Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
