New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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