So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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