After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
