just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
