I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
