what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
