Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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