I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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