i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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