I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
