Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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