So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize