with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
