He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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