On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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