dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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