Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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