My brain says no but my pants say off.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
