This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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