I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
