It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
