So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's never too late to be topless.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
