I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
