ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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