Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
