I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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