nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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