I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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