Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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