You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
