walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
