Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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