I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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