I accidentally had phone sex last night
where does the pee come out of this thing
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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