The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
