I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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