So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I want her autograph on my taint
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
