you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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